Yesterday, the entire internet posted the kinda-hyped “Jennifer Aniston Sex Tape,” which was not a sex tape but, in fact, a video of Aniston deliberately attempting viral trends in a lengthy commercial for Smart Water. I was completely fooled – I thought Smart Water had literally filmed a Jennifer Aniston sex tape and was like “we don’t usually do this because we’re a water company and we’re not sure if this is legal but here is moving image of actress Jennifer Aniston having sexual intercourse. Smart Water – the Smartest Water in the waterfall!
The video features Aniston and a team of nerdy viral marketing characters attempting various internet hallmarks, including puppies, CGI’d dancing babies, and a Double Rainbow Guy facsimile. Ultimately, it’s not terrible, but the whole thing is so selfconscious and lame in the way that every time a company tries to do something radical dot com it ends up just reaffirming its own parentlike vague understanding of what the kidz are into these days. Skateboards and innanet, what I always says!
Half the people on the internet have no idea what the Double Rainbow Guy is, and this half likely won’t see the Aniston video for another 6 weeks or ever (this is the same half that can’t reset MSN.com as its homepage). The other half saw the Aniston video seconds after it showed up online (AskJeeves posted it first, uhhhgain), and these web savvy people all know that Double Rainbow Guy happened eight months ago, an eternity in internet dog years.
Basically, it’s a commercial very deliberately trying to manufacture something “cool,” and in the process just seeming even more commercially than commercials that are just like “Sup. I’m a commercial.” Ironically, the entire internet did end up posting the video, and it’s on its way to 1 million views, but I don’t interpret this as any sort of endorsement of its hilarity or creativity beyond just “It’s the internet news cycle, Charlie Sheen stuff’s dying down, here’s a video with a celebrity that’ll take 3 calories of effort to throw online and everyone is obligatorily talking about it, so I guess we have to do this.” It’s my job to have that exact line of thinking.
I don’t feel like posting the video, but if you somehow haven’t seen it and want to, take .001 seconds and Google it and be like “Jennifer Aniston and babies. This sure is some illusion of movement.” Next up: Evolution Of Ronald McDonald’s Dance. The previous sentence just got 400,000 obligatory, half-assed views.
You own a small business. You have a website, but you know it probably sucks. Social media, forget about it--you're way too busy to keep up, let alone maintain your business's presence in that arena.
I'm the "bridge" between you/your staff and the web world, a one-stop contract/freelance person who keeps up with the internets so you don't have to, and makes sure you're on it, in the best places, in the best format.
I am not, per se, a web developer/designer, copywriter, or marketing/pr/advertising consultant, although all of those roles come into play. I maintain a relationship with you that allows me to coordinate content--on your (now newly designed, thanks to the new designer I hooked you up with) website, blog, social media sites, etc. I help you strategize about things you can do that I can create content from--events, news, etc., and make the best choices about the services attached to your web presence (good designers, best bulk e-mail companies, etc.).
I'm just familiar enough with web programming, graphic design, and marketing/pr to be good (I think) at this niche, but not experienced enough in any of them to do them exclusively. What I can't do, I subcontract out, which means I also maintain a network of talented people to whom I can refer.
"Freelance content manager," "social media consultant," and "internet marketing strategist" all return decent hits on Google, but I want to make sure I'm not missing something. Is there a more specific term for this kind of thing? Any decent resources out there for somebody who wants to break in?
Bonus points if you do this job, and can offer some tips.
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